3rd of July?

OK, so I am a hypochondriac. Everything could potentially kill me. The question is how? This is what I like to think about in my spare time, which is abysmal.

While I am lying here watching TV like a big loser, everyone else is having fun terrifying me to death. To me, 4th of July the frightening celebration where people get drunk and play with fire. It' not even the 4th of July yet and there are crazy pyromaniacs roaming the city.

When we were kids, my father used to get a whole load of illegal fireworks and set them off with the neighbors by our house in Luray for hours. When I set of my first Roman Candle I felt overwhelmed with responsibility. If I were to accidentally move my arm just slightly I might take a someones eye out. This is not the kind of responsibility I want drunk idiots to have.

I couldn't sleep and I wanted to be aware of any smokey smell to alert me to leave the apartment. I have issues with fire alarms which is legitimate given a bad experience I had with them. A few years ago the house I was living in had an oil fire which filled the house with smoke. The fire alarm didn't go off and we were saved by our bartender roommate who came home to the smoke filled house and rushed us out of bed. I wasn't so much worried about dying then because all of my shit was covered in soot which was gross. Cleaning up soot is hard and the smell will never come out of anything so all of our stuff was destroyed. I was working on a legal problem for a company that had manufactured Asbestos at the time, so I figured coughing up hunks of black stuff for a few weeks was probably part of that whole Karma thing.

I feel good because "The Girl Next Door" is on TV which I love. But as I watch I realize "The Girl Next Door" is just a remake of "Risky Business". I never noticed that and it makes the movie seem pointless to watch.