Yesterday my roommate and I stood outside for 5 hours to see Rogue Wave and Spoon play at Cafe Du Nord for $10. It was totally worth it.
We discovered the "secret" show online last week and the excitement of seeing the band that wrote "Eyes" from the "I think we should have sex" episode of Friday Night Lights was almost too much.
I assumed other Rogue Wave fans would feel the same way but much to my surprise no one else there had even seen the show. I asked quite a few people and got the annoying San Francisco answer: "I don't own a tv," like 30 times. AGGGGGG!! Why is everyone all of the sudden too good for TV?
I pushed my way to the front and was determined to get some sort of Friday Night Lights related reaction from Rogue Wave. I screamed "Dillon Panthers Rule." Nothing. No recognition. They definitely heard me because I was screaming in between songs and people were giving me strange looks.
Finally, after screaming "Friday Night Lights", over and over again, the lead singer of Rogue Wave looked at me and said into the microphone as he sighed and looked at his feet:
"Friday Night Lights, Oh... My.. God..."
I don't think Rogue Wave watches the show.
Both bands were great. Even though I had to stand next to this weird guy who stole trail mix from a local bar and was selling drugs to people while in line, I had a great time.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Do you have a friend who is ALWAYS wrong? I have...
Do you have a friend who is ALWAYS wrong?
I have had a few of these people in my life. When you first meet them you think its you. Bus no. It becomes clear that it is definitely them! They give you completely random incorrect facts to feast on throughout a random evening.
The weird thing is that they are always completely wrong! Not even close to right and thanks to the pen and paper I keep in my purse, google assures me hours later that it is in fact them and not me. And by the way, Gene Wilder was not a writer on Frasier!
The most remarkable thing is that I do this. That's how I recognize it. If I'm telling someone about an article I read or something I heard from a "reputable source" I will spice it up a bit it the crowd gets bored.
Some of my stories sound something like this:
So I was out fishing and then I caught this huge fish ... and then it flopped around a lot ... and then it IMMEDIATELY CAUGHT FIRE AND STARTED SPEAKING SOME ASIAN LANGUAGE ....
Anyway. Check Wikipedia, that's all I'm sayin.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
I have had a few of these people in my life. When you first meet them you think its you. Bus no. It becomes clear that it is definitely them! They give you completely random incorrect facts to feast on throughout a random evening.
The weird thing is that they are always completely wrong! Not even close to right and thanks to the pen and paper I keep in my purse, google assures me hours later that it is in fact them and not me. And by the way, Gene Wilder was not a writer on Frasier!
The most remarkable thing is that I do this. That's how I recognize it. If I'm telling someone about an article I read or something I heard from a "reputable source" I will spice it up a bit it the crowd gets bored.
Some of my stories sound something like this:
So I was out fishing and then I caught this huge fish ... and then it flopped around a lot ... and then it IMMEDIATELY CAUGHT FIRE AND STARTED SPEAKING SOME ASIAN LANGUAGE ....
Anyway. Check Wikipedia, that's all I'm sayin.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Monday, July 9, 2007
I watch the news because I have a lot of time on m...
I watch the news because I have a lot of time on my hands. I was thinking that News would be much more interesting if we weren't always at war. I watch the News Hour (because I think I'm better than you) and all the stories that don't have to do with our overseas fuck-ups are cool. I was fascinated by the piece they did a few weeks ago about the compromised protection of the Bald Eagle. I also enjoyed last weeks piece on elderly airline pilots. However, all I hear about is political reconciliation military strategy in Baghdad. I care, but not to the point where I want to exclude all other things. Thank god for the coming(?) election.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Molly Shannon in Talladaga Nights
Molly Shannon pretty much does the same character over and over. I have always found it annoying except for in Talladega Nights. She plays Greg Germann's alcoholic wife. I have always found older alcoholic women on TV disturbing because I fear I will end up like them. Molly Shannon is HILARIOUS as a drunk. Imagine all that Mary Katherine Gallagher crap but channeled in a great way.
I miss my stories
I have been feeling depressed lately. I feel like something is missing and I have been wondering what it might be. But today something made me feel a little better. I remembered there is a new episode of Big Love on tomorrow night. Something to be excited about.
What do I miss? TV. TV sucks during the summer. Occasionally we have Big Love, or that one summer when 90210 did new shows during the summer, something to hold on to, but its not enough.
I really miss 30 rock.
I heard Alec Baldwin wants to leave the show after the second season (when his contract is up). NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
What do I miss? TV. TV sucks during the summer. Occasionally we have Big Love, or that one summer when 90210 did new shows during the summer, something to hold on to, but its not enough.
I really miss 30 rock.
I heard Alec Baldwin wants to leave the show after the second season (when his contract is up). NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Friday, July 6, 2007
TRANSFORMERS!!
This movie is amazing. It was just like going back to when Independence Day opened and seeing it in the Theater again only like a zillion times better and Shia LeBeouf is so hot. I remember watching him on Even Stevens and thinking he was hot but now I can say this in public. The special effects were amazing. I think I may have to see it again.
Interesting Fact:
Producer Don Murphy decided, after listening to feedback from Transformers fans, to use the voices from the "Transformers" (1984) (and its spin-off The Transformers: The Movie (1986)). Veteran voice actors Peter Cullen and Frank Welker, who provided the voices for the iconic Transformer leaders Optimus Prime (Cullen) and Megatron (Welker), were auditioned personally by director Michael Bay, who feared that their aged voices would be noticeable. Cullen was confirmed to reprise his role, but Welker's voice had aged too much and besides didn't suit Megatron's new alien look, and so Hugo Weaving took the role of Megatron. However, Welker reprises his role as Megatron in Transformers: The Game (2007) (VG).
(imdb)
Interesting Fact:
Producer Don Murphy decided, after listening to feedback from Transformers fans, to use the voices from the "Transformers" (1984) (and its spin-off The Transformers: The Movie (1986)). Veteran voice actors Peter Cullen and Frank Welker, who provided the voices for the iconic Transformer leaders Optimus Prime (Cullen) and Megatron (Welker), were auditioned personally by director Michael Bay, who feared that their aged voices would be noticeable. Cullen was confirmed to reprise his role, but Welker's voice had aged too much and besides didn't suit Megatron's new alien look, and so Hugo Weaving took the role of Megatron. However, Welker reprises his role as Megatron in Transformers: The Game (2007) (VG).
(imdb)
Thursday, July 5, 2007
The New York Times is Trying to Keep Me out of Florida
This New York Times article has given me something new to be afraid of: huge fish jumping out of the water for no particular reason and injuring me.
July 4, 2007
Summertime. Fish Jumping. That’s Trouble.
By ABBY GOODNOUGH
BRANFORD, Fla. — “Lots of artillery out there,” an old man hollered from the safety of the Suwannee River’s edge, and he was right. The sturgeon were jumping high and fast, twisting their armored girth in midair and returning to the depths with a stunning splash.
On the water, there was reason to be anxious. Florida’s season of “sturgeon strikes” — law enforcement’s term for collisions between the state’s largest freshwater fish and hapless boaters — was already well under way.
It may seem bizarre, but it is no joke. Leaping sturgeon have injured three people on the Suwannee this year, including a woman on a Jet Ski and a girl whose leg was shattered when one of the giant fish jumped aboard her boat. Eight others were hit last year, and with traffic growing on the storied river, sturgeon are joining alligators and hurricanes on the list of things to dread in Florida.
“These injuries are very impressive,” said Dr. Lawrence Lottenberg, director of trauma surgery at the University of Florida College of Medicine in nearby Gainesville. “You’ve got people sitting on the front of an open boat, and the boat is going 20, 30, 40 miles per hour. The fish jumps up and usually slaps these people right across their face and upper chest. Almost every one of them universally has been knocked unconscious. If you’re not wearing a life jacket, you’re going to fall in the water and potentially drown.”
Fortunately, most sturgeon in Florida stick to the Suwannee, which winds 265 miles from southern Georgia to the Gulf of Mexico. Known as gulf sturgeon, they migrate between the river, where they spawn in spring and relax in summer, and the gulf, where they return in the fall to feed. They have no teeth or temper, only a pressing, mysterious urge to jump all summer long.
“You’ll be sitting out there,” said Melanie Carter, who boats on the river with her husband, “and then all the sudden, 5, 10 feet away from you, a big one will jump up and scare you half to death.”
Sturgeon have been around since the dinosaur age, and they look it. They have long, flat snouts and hefty bodies covered in sharp, bony plates. Gulf sturgeon can grow up to eight feet long and weigh 200 pounds, but even the smaller ones can inflict serious harm. In recent years, injuries have included a broken pelvis, a fractured arm and a slashed throat.
Brian Clemens was motoring down the Choctawhatchee River in the Panhandle in 2002 when a sturgeon “jumped up and hit him dead center in the chest,” said his wife, Joy. It broke his ribs and sternum, caused one of his lungs to collapse and put him in intensive care for three days, she said, adding, “There’s a permanent dent in his chest where that fish hit him.”
Wildlife officials have posted signs warning boaters to slow down. Leah Daniel, a friend of Ms. Carter, said there was only one other precaution to take: “Pray.”
Fear is not rampant on the gentle river, lined with ancient cypress trees and moss-draped live oaks, but curiosity is. No one knows for sure why sturgeon jump.
“We say, ‘Pretty much because they can,’ ” said Karen Parker, a spokeswoman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. She said the jumping seemed more frequent this year and last, maybe because sturgeon favor deeper water and are feeling cramped with the river unusually low.
Ken Sulak, a biologist with the United States Geological Survey, has ruled out several theories. Since sturgeon do not jump in spawning season, Dr. Sulak said, the jumping must not be for reproductive reasons. And since they have no freshwater predators but occasional alligators, it is probably not an escape response.
Might they jump for joy?
Doubtful, Dr. Sulak said.
His guess is that sturgeon jump to let other sturgeon know they have found a good spot to hang out. They seem to gather mainly within six short, narrow stretches of the Suwannee where there are deep holes, so they do not have to waste energy fighting the current. They fast and relax all summer, basically “just going to the spa for several months,” Dr. Sulak said.
They can use the rest. The federal government has listed gulf sturgeon as threatened since 1991, and for nearly a quarter-century Florida has outlawed catching them. Ms. Parker said there were now 3,000 to 5,000 of them in the Suwannee; Dr. Sulak puts the number closer to 7,000.
But with more people using the Suwannee, more farm waste flowing into it and urban regions eyeing it as a source of water, the sturgeon’s future is uncertain, said Bill Pine, a fisheries professor at the University of Florida.
Dr. Pine would like to see speed limits on sections of river where sturgeon congregate. The state has imposed such limits along miles of “manatee protection zones,” but with fierce objections from boaters who say the restriction spoils their fun.
Some irate boaters have called the wildlife commission and railed against sturgeon, Ms. Parker said, even asking the state to “kill all of them so people can enjoy the river.”
Others think the fish are purposely attacking boaters who invade their turf, but Dr. Sulak said sturgeon were as docile as lambs. He sometimes acts as their public relations agent, encouraging curious boaters to watch as he nets sturgeon for population counts. They lie quietly on a scale in his boat, their rough, cold bodies looking bronze one second, greenish gold the next.
Some onlookers melt. “Once they see they’re not monstrous, they don’t have big teeth, they’re not mean — they’re kind of lovable, in a way,” he said, “that kind of defuses things.”
Jim Tomey, sitting by the riverbank, said watching for sturgeon was his summer ritual. As he spoke, one burst out of the water and returned with a mighty smack.
“I love to come down here,” Mr. Tomey said, “and sit and watch them fish jump.”
July 4, 2007
Summertime. Fish Jumping. That’s Trouble.
By ABBY GOODNOUGH
BRANFORD, Fla. — “Lots of artillery out there,” an old man hollered from the safety of the Suwannee River’s edge, and he was right. The sturgeon were jumping high and fast, twisting their armored girth in midair and returning to the depths with a stunning splash.
On the water, there was reason to be anxious. Florida’s season of “sturgeon strikes” — law enforcement’s term for collisions between the state’s largest freshwater fish and hapless boaters — was already well under way.
It may seem bizarre, but it is no joke. Leaping sturgeon have injured three people on the Suwannee this year, including a woman on a Jet Ski and a girl whose leg was shattered when one of the giant fish jumped aboard her boat. Eight others were hit last year, and with traffic growing on the storied river, sturgeon are joining alligators and hurricanes on the list of things to dread in Florida.
“These injuries are very impressive,” said Dr. Lawrence Lottenberg, director of trauma surgery at the University of Florida College of Medicine in nearby Gainesville. “You’ve got people sitting on the front of an open boat, and the boat is going 20, 30, 40 miles per hour. The fish jumps up and usually slaps these people right across their face and upper chest. Almost every one of them universally has been knocked unconscious. If you’re not wearing a life jacket, you’re going to fall in the water and potentially drown.”
Fortunately, most sturgeon in Florida stick to the Suwannee, which winds 265 miles from southern Georgia to the Gulf of Mexico. Known as gulf sturgeon, they migrate between the river, where they spawn in spring and relax in summer, and the gulf, where they return in the fall to feed. They have no teeth or temper, only a pressing, mysterious urge to jump all summer long.
“You’ll be sitting out there,” said Melanie Carter, who boats on the river with her husband, “and then all the sudden, 5, 10 feet away from you, a big one will jump up and scare you half to death.”
Sturgeon have been around since the dinosaur age, and they look it. They have long, flat snouts and hefty bodies covered in sharp, bony plates. Gulf sturgeon can grow up to eight feet long and weigh 200 pounds, but even the smaller ones can inflict serious harm. In recent years, injuries have included a broken pelvis, a fractured arm and a slashed throat.
Brian Clemens was motoring down the Choctawhatchee River in the Panhandle in 2002 when a sturgeon “jumped up and hit him dead center in the chest,” said his wife, Joy. It broke his ribs and sternum, caused one of his lungs to collapse and put him in intensive care for three days, she said, adding, “There’s a permanent dent in his chest where that fish hit him.”
Wildlife officials have posted signs warning boaters to slow down. Leah Daniel, a friend of Ms. Carter, said there was only one other precaution to take: “Pray.”
Fear is not rampant on the gentle river, lined with ancient cypress trees and moss-draped live oaks, but curiosity is. No one knows for sure why sturgeon jump.
“We say, ‘Pretty much because they can,’ ” said Karen Parker, a spokeswoman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. She said the jumping seemed more frequent this year and last, maybe because sturgeon favor deeper water and are feeling cramped with the river unusually low.
Ken Sulak, a biologist with the United States Geological Survey, has ruled out several theories. Since sturgeon do not jump in spawning season, Dr. Sulak said, the jumping must not be for reproductive reasons. And since they have no freshwater predators but occasional alligators, it is probably not an escape response.
Might they jump for joy?
Doubtful, Dr. Sulak said.
His guess is that sturgeon jump to let other sturgeon know they have found a good spot to hang out. They seem to gather mainly within six short, narrow stretches of the Suwannee where there are deep holes, so they do not have to waste energy fighting the current. They fast and relax all summer, basically “just going to the spa for several months,” Dr. Sulak said.
They can use the rest. The federal government has listed gulf sturgeon as threatened since 1991, and for nearly a quarter-century Florida has outlawed catching them. Ms. Parker said there were now 3,000 to 5,000 of them in the Suwannee; Dr. Sulak puts the number closer to 7,000.
But with more people using the Suwannee, more farm waste flowing into it and urban regions eyeing it as a source of water, the sturgeon’s future is uncertain, said Bill Pine, a fisheries professor at the University of Florida.
Dr. Pine would like to see speed limits on sections of river where sturgeon congregate. The state has imposed such limits along miles of “manatee protection zones,” but with fierce objections from boaters who say the restriction spoils their fun.
Some irate boaters have called the wildlife commission and railed against sturgeon, Ms. Parker said, even asking the state to “kill all of them so people can enjoy the river.”
Others think the fish are purposely attacking boaters who invade their turf, but Dr. Sulak said sturgeon were as docile as lambs. He sometimes acts as their public relations agent, encouraging curious boaters to watch as he nets sturgeon for population counts. They lie quietly on a scale in his boat, their rough, cold bodies looking bronze one second, greenish gold the next.
Some onlookers melt. “Once they see they’re not monstrous, they don’t have big teeth, they’re not mean — they’re kind of lovable, in a way,” he said, “that kind of defuses things.”
Jim Tomey, sitting by the riverbank, said watching for sturgeon was his summer ritual. As he spoke, one burst out of the water and returned with a mighty smack.
“I love to come down here,” Mr. Tomey said, “and sit and watch them fish jump.”
The U S of A
Yea I know I live in San Francisco so what should I expect on the 4th of July? Mimes making dramatic attacks on our involvement in the war? I guess so. The mimes were unusually noisy though.
I hate George Bush and his administration as much as the next person. I thought we were celebrating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence which kicks ass! Can't we give it a rest for a day? I felt like pulling a Jeremy Piven in PCU and starting a "Were not Gonna Protest" Protest, but I'm all for freedom of speech so I figure I should deal with it.
But if were gonna be all SF about everything lets not forget that Fireworks are really bad for the environment. Not to mention scary.
I hate George Bush and his administration as much as the next person. I thought we were celebrating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence which kicks ass! Can't we give it a rest for a day? I felt like pulling a Jeremy Piven in PCU and starting a "Were not Gonna Protest" Protest, but I'm all for freedom of speech so I figure I should deal with it.
But if were gonna be all SF about everything lets not forget that Fireworks are really bad for the environment. Not to mention scary.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
3rd of July?
OK, so I am a hypochondriac. Everything could potentially kill me. The question is how? This is what I like to think about in my spare time, which is abysmal.
While I am lying here watching TV like a big loser, everyone else is having fun terrifying me to death. To me, 4th of July the frightening celebration where people get drunk and play with fire. It' not even the 4th of July yet and there are crazy pyromaniacs roaming the city.
When we were kids, my father used to get a whole load of illegal fireworks and set them off with the neighbors by our house in Luray for hours. When I set of my first Roman Candle I felt overwhelmed with responsibility. If I were to accidentally move my arm just slightly I might take a someones eye out. This is not the kind of responsibility I want drunk idiots to have.
I couldn't sleep and I wanted to be aware of any smokey smell to alert me to leave the apartment. I have issues with fire alarms which is legitimate given a bad experience I had with them. A few years ago the house I was living in had an oil fire which filled the house with smoke. The fire alarm didn't go off and we were saved by our bartender roommate who came home to the smoke filled house and rushed us out of bed. I wasn't so much worried about dying then because all of my shit was covered in soot which was gross. Cleaning up soot is hard and the smell will never come out of anything so all of our stuff was destroyed. I was working on a legal problem for a company that had manufactured Asbestos at the time, so I figured coughing up hunks of black stuff for a few weeks was probably part of that whole Karma thing.
I feel good because "The Girl Next Door" is on TV which I love. But as I watch I realize "The Girl Next Door" is just a remake of "Risky Business". I never noticed that and it makes the movie seem pointless to watch.
While I am lying here watching TV like a big loser, everyone else is having fun terrifying me to death. To me, 4th of July the frightening celebration where people get drunk and play with fire. It' not even the 4th of July yet and there are crazy pyromaniacs roaming the city.
When we were kids, my father used to get a whole load of illegal fireworks and set them off with the neighbors by our house in Luray for hours. When I set of my first Roman Candle I felt overwhelmed with responsibility. If I were to accidentally move my arm just slightly I might take a someones eye out. This is not the kind of responsibility I want drunk idiots to have.
I couldn't sleep and I wanted to be aware of any smokey smell to alert me to leave the apartment. I have issues with fire alarms which is legitimate given a bad experience I had with them. A few years ago the house I was living in had an oil fire which filled the house with smoke. The fire alarm didn't go off and we were saved by our bartender roommate who came home to the smoke filled house and rushed us out of bed. I wasn't so much worried about dying then because all of my shit was covered in soot which was gross. Cleaning up soot is hard and the smell will never come out of anything so all of our stuff was destroyed. I was working on a legal problem for a company that had manufactured Asbestos at the time, so I figured coughing up hunks of black stuff for a few weeks was probably part of that whole Karma thing.
I feel good because "The Girl Next Door" is on TV which I love. But as I watch I realize "The Girl Next Door" is just a remake of "Risky Business". I never noticed that and it makes the movie seem pointless to watch.
Saaphyri!?
Charm School ended and while all fingers were pointing to Layleen as the winner, Saaphyri took the $50,000. It did seem somewhat unfair when Saaphyri came out with her homelessness during her final speech. I guess in the end everyone just felt kinda bad, because she was, you know, homeless, so they gave her the money.
Because Layleen is the PERFECT Charm School student, she did not cry. But things had been looking bad for Layleen when she was drinking before the quiz during her short time to study. So what happens? Everyone hates Shay so much they just team up to eliminate her. Saaphyri defends her plan to set up Shay by concluding "plus, I just don't like her ass."
Then came the speech round where Layleen strung some words together that didn't make any sense, but presented them in a pleasing sort of high-class-stripper way.
Becky took the weird approach of giving Saaphyri half her money (this was the topic of her speech.) I guess its a good plan if Becky just wanted Saaphyri to win. And just when you are thinking about what trick Saaphyri and Becky have up their sleeves, Saaphari cries and says she is homeless. How did Saaphyri own those expensive boots if she was homeless?
I think they let her win because Mo'Nique thought her real name (actually Saaphryi) was the name Flav gave her and asked her what her real name was. It feels like the scene in "Pretty in Pink" where Blane assumes Andy will want to go home and change her clothes but, oh no, she had already changed, and it's really akward.
During the scene (complete with sparkly background and cheesy music) that chronicles Saaphryi's accomplishments there is a clip of her yelling at another girl saying "Better not Interrupt me during my Paryers before God direct me to beat you up."
Something about the ending scene with Saaphyri dressed fully in white kneeling at Mo'Nique's feet is unsettling.
Because Layleen is the PERFECT Charm School student, she did not cry. But things had been looking bad for Layleen when she was drinking before the quiz during her short time to study. So what happens? Everyone hates Shay so much they just team up to eliminate her. Saaphyri defends her plan to set up Shay by concluding "plus, I just don't like her ass."
Then came the speech round where Layleen strung some words together that didn't make any sense, but presented them in a pleasing sort of high-class-stripper way.
Becky took the weird approach of giving Saaphyri half her money (this was the topic of her speech.) I guess its a good plan if Becky just wanted Saaphyri to win. And just when you are thinking about what trick Saaphyri and Becky have up their sleeves, Saaphari cries and says she is homeless. How did Saaphyri own those expensive boots if she was homeless?
I think they let her win because Mo'Nique thought her real name (actually Saaphryi) was the name Flav gave her and asked her what her real name was. It feels like the scene in "Pretty in Pink" where Blane assumes Andy will want to go home and change her clothes but, oh no, she had already changed, and it's really akward.
During the scene (complete with sparkly background and cheesy music) that chronicles Saaphryi's accomplishments there is a clip of her yelling at another girl saying "Better not Interrupt me during my Paryers before God direct me to beat you up."
Something about the ending scene with Saaphyri dressed fully in white kneeling at Mo'Nique's feet is unsettling.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Jon Tucker Must Die
I am watching Jon Tucker Must Die and remembering why I love all movies set in high school. Mean Girls, Bring It On, Can't Hardly Wait. They are all so wonderful!
My favorite part about Jon Tucker Must Die is Sophia Bush, the slut character. In the beginning of the movie Brittany Snow identifies her as easy in a great line that goes something like:
"Vegan activist is code word for easy"
He he he!!! Sometimes I think I should have moved to L.A. instead of San Francisco.
Also, my Taylor Kitsch who plays Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights is in John Tucker Must Die. He makes a delivery to Jenny McCarthy.
My favorite part about Jon Tucker Must Die is Sophia Bush, the slut character. In the beginning of the movie Brittany Snow identifies her as easy in a great line that goes something like:
"Vegan activist is code word for easy"
He he he!!! Sometimes I think I should have moved to L.A. instead of San Francisco.
Also, my Taylor Kitsch who plays Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights is in John Tucker Must Die. He makes a delivery to Jenny McCarthy.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
"Dyke March"
I was in an IHOP with a friend during my college years who scolded me for using the term "Dyke." We were in D.C. where there are no lesbians so I guess the straight community decided the term "dyke" was unacceptable.
So yesterday, when my male roommate told me there was a "Dyke March" going on in the neighborhood, I thought he was being crass. However, this is the actual name of the march. When I told my lesbian friend that my former "community" of straight Washington D.C. government workers had forbidden the use of the word she seemed confused about why I chose to bring this information to her attention. What does she care?
I do think that if there is a "community" who can make this decision it is the women who participated in the march during San Francisco's Pride weekend. So from here on out I guess I can say "dyke" but it still makes me uncomfortable.
So yesterday I joined my friends in the park for some music and drinks in Delores park for the pre-march party. After a few hours the scene became an underage lesbian Girls Gone Wild. Clothes came off and certain unmentionable things began to happen. I had a great time even though I was not able to join in the fun.
I also learned what it means to have various bandannas/handkerchiefs sticking out of your back pocket. There is a complicated system of sexual preference communication going on here. Most of what they told me was about scat and being a top and a bottom. The internet elaborates:
http://www.pendorwright.com/faqs/hankies.html
So yesterday, when my male roommate told me there was a "Dyke March" going on in the neighborhood, I thought he was being crass. However, this is the actual name of the march. When I told my lesbian friend that my former "community" of straight Washington D.C. government workers had forbidden the use of the word she seemed confused about why I chose to bring this information to her attention. What does she care?
I do think that if there is a "community" who can make this decision it is the women who participated in the march during San Francisco's Pride weekend. So from here on out I guess I can say "dyke" but it still makes me uncomfortable.
So yesterday I joined my friends in the park for some music and drinks in Delores park for the pre-march party. After a few hours the scene became an underage lesbian Girls Gone Wild. Clothes came off and certain unmentionable things began to happen. I had a great time even though I was not able to join in the fun.
I also learned what it means to have various bandannas/handkerchiefs sticking out of your back pocket. There is a complicated system of sexual preference communication going on here. Most of what they told me was about scat and being a top and a bottom. The internet elaborates:
http://www.pendorwright.com/faqs/hankies.html
Thursday, June 21, 2007
My Blackberry
People who own Blackberrys are usually complaining about some work related matter under their breath. The are always pulling out these strange objects in restaurants and have tantrums at a time when they should be relaxing.
I am one of these people.
I love my blackberry and I don't care that I am sometimes with a friend and while we are at a bar I pick up my blackberry and yell "fuck," put it back down and go back to my conversation. Sometimes people feel obliged to ask what happened. Don't! I just like to say fuck out loud when I get an annoying work email. I do it when I'm alone. Even though most of my life has been spent thus far crying out for attention, these actions are not part of that cry.
While I love my blackberry, I have to know my audience. My friend Pater has been taking me to artsy Jazz bars and places in San Francisco that make me want to learn to play an instrument, or quit my job and get into performance art. People dress in interesting outfits and smoke cigarettes while they talk about things like Harry Haywood and other stuff I know nothing about. I wish I was one of those people but my heart belongs to trashy reality television so what can I do? I had a few beer the other night at this bar that had a band that played amazing 1920s music and everyone danced the Charleston. I felt like I was in that scene in swingers where Jon Favreau starts dancing with Heather Graham and everyone seems to be moving in fastforward which intimidates poor Jon. I too was intimidated, but I loved every second of it. There is this world out there with people who really know how to have fun. I suddenly felt my purse vibrate.
AN EMAIL!!!!
When I took it out all of the people around me turned to stone. It was as if I had just brought Kentucky Friend Chicken into an Ashram. I had made this holy place impure. It was a client who had sent me some feedback from some work I did and I proceeded to read the entire email with the blackberry blaring light up into this world people consider to be a painting of what life should be like. But in my life I love to be able to go where ever I want and not be thinking about what my inbox will vomit on me when I get home. Its relaxing. So my painting includes a Blackberry. And a TV!!
I am one of these people.
I love my blackberry and I don't care that I am sometimes with a friend and while we are at a bar I pick up my blackberry and yell "fuck," put it back down and go back to my conversation. Sometimes people feel obliged to ask what happened. Don't! I just like to say fuck out loud when I get an annoying work email. I do it when I'm alone. Even though most of my life has been spent thus far crying out for attention, these actions are not part of that cry.
While I love my blackberry, I have to know my audience. My friend Pater has been taking me to artsy Jazz bars and places in San Francisco that make me want to learn to play an instrument, or quit my job and get into performance art. People dress in interesting outfits and smoke cigarettes while they talk about things like Harry Haywood and other stuff I know nothing about. I wish I was one of those people but my heart belongs to trashy reality television so what can I do? I had a few beer the other night at this bar that had a band that played amazing 1920s music and everyone danced the Charleston. I felt like I was in that scene in swingers where Jon Favreau starts dancing with Heather Graham and everyone seems to be moving in fastforward which intimidates poor Jon. I too was intimidated, but I loved every second of it. There is this world out there with people who really know how to have fun. I suddenly felt my purse vibrate.
AN EMAIL!!!!
When I took it out all of the people around me turned to stone. It was as if I had just brought Kentucky Friend Chicken into an Ashram. I had made this holy place impure. It was a client who had sent me some feedback from some work I did and I proceeded to read the entire email with the blackberry blaring light up into this world people consider to be a painting of what life should be like. But in my life I love to be able to go where ever I want and not be thinking about what my inbox will vomit on me when I get home. Its relaxing. So my painting includes a Blackberry. And a TV!!
On Demand
Comcast can eat shit but some of their On Demand selections make my days brighter. They have a section for singles where you can view clips of local people advertising themselves as someone who might fix this state of being single which seemingly bothers Comcast. Comcast does not want you to be single! They want you at home watching television with someone who has named themselves "pimpin01" or "wildman22." Today I enjoyed a short clip of a Puerto Rican man looking for a Puerto Rican woman "who doesn't talk too much." I thought of contacting this man so I could possible harm him in some way but I did what I always do which is direct all of my anger where it belongs, towards those fuckers at Comcast.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
The Whore of Charm School
Brook has been named "The Whore of Charm School", but in her defense she just likes "to fuck." I do think Brook is promiscuous but the competition in this episode was to determine which male from a group of 6 was the "urban renaissance man." Her strategy was not off and it was unjust for her to be expelled.
Layleen was excited about this challenge because it was a good match for her skill set. "I know I'm going to be great at this because I started stripping when I was 17, and I know how to read people. That's what I do for a living. This is my forté." She actually said this!
I also love Becky or "Buck Wild." Last night when describing Brooke she said: "If it look like a ho, it smell like a ho, and it taste like a ho, its prolly a ho"
This reminds me of when Brenda caught Kelly out with Dillon and used the same line but replaced ho with duck. But essentially everything else is the same.
Layleen was excited about this challenge because it was a good match for her skill set. "I know I'm going to be great at this because I started stripping when I was 17, and I know how to read people. That's what I do for a living. This is my forté." She actually said this!
I also love Becky or "Buck Wild." Last night when describing Brooke she said: "If it look like a ho, it smell like a ho, and it taste like a ho, its prolly a ho"
This reminds me of when Brenda caught Kelly out with Dillon and used the same line but replaced ho with duck. But essentially everything else is the same.
Sleep and Possibly Cats
I actually slept for 17 hours straight the other day. My roommate was horrified. I felt like I should be too but I could not feel anything but intense pride. I used to feel bad about sleeping too much because it meant that I was finally sinking into an inevitable pit of depression from which I would never rise. Now I feel great about it. Einstein slept for 10 hours a night. I feel like maybe I should try out some complex proofs or something.
I am allergic to cats and always enjoyed telling people I was a "dog person." Telling people you like dogs, and big dogs, better than cats is something people just do. If you are a dog person you like the outdoors and are willing to rough it up. I know this is all crap but for some reason it creeps into conversation the way the weather and Paris Hilton do. In truth I think I might have some cat person in me. Cats sleep all day and don't need attention. They also don't like to be dirty. My dog used to roll around in shit whenever possible. I might go out and buy a tee shirt with a big cat on it that says "I don't do mornings."
What is horrifying is that I misplaced the remote yesterday and ended up watching a full episode of 'The Nanny,' with commercials. I think that may be a red flag for depression.
I am allergic to cats and always enjoyed telling people I was a "dog person." Telling people you like dogs, and big dogs, better than cats is something people just do. If you are a dog person you like the outdoors and are willing to rough it up. I know this is all crap but for some reason it creeps into conversation the way the weather and Paris Hilton do. In truth I think I might have some cat person in me. Cats sleep all day and don't need attention. They also don't like to be dirty. My dog used to roll around in shit whenever possible. I might go out and buy a tee shirt with a big cat on it that says "I don't do mornings."
What is horrifying is that I misplaced the remote yesterday and ended up watching a full episode of 'The Nanny,' with commercials. I think that may be a red flag for depression.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Russians
I love that I am Russian but we are some crazy fools. I am watching the History channel series on Russian History and most decisions made by tsars seem to be alcohol related. Peter III hung a rat for treason!
I am also loving Peter the Great's Western European tour when he trashed everything in a very "Spring Break!" sort of way that I find endearing.
Valentin Serov's description of Peter the Great:
"He was frightful: long, on weak, spindly little legs and with a head so small in relation to the rest of his body...he looked more like a sort of dummy with a badly stuck on head than a live person. He suffered from a constant tic and was always making faces: wrinkling, screwing up his mouth, twitching his nose, wagging his chin."
Hilarious!
Russian scientists developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication in 2005. I am expecting awesome results.
I am also loving Peter the Great's Western European tour when he trashed everything in a very "Spring Break!" sort of way that I find endearing.
Valentin Serov's description of Peter the Great:
"He was frightful: long, on weak, spindly little legs and with a head so small in relation to the rest of his body...he looked more like a sort of dummy with a badly stuck on head than a live person. He suffered from a constant tic and was always making faces: wrinkling, screwing up his mouth, twitching his nose, wagging his chin."
Hilarious!
Russian scientists developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication in 2005. I am expecting awesome results.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Budpest
I've been in Budapest for five days now and compared to Sarajevo it feels like home. I went out dancing the second night and was delighted hear songs like "Groove is in the Heart." If there was anything I was hoping for in Europe it was cheesy dance clubs.
The churches and Museams are all lovely. I have also enjoyed having long meals and drinking Cappacino while reading my book.
My sister and I were directed to go out at night to a so called "island of fun." In Hungarian it is called "Hoyogyan cziget." The island of fun turned out the be a club with very young people hanging out under tents and standing around drinking. We met a few guys from London who said they were there for a "Drum and Bass" show. We wanted to wait for it to start but their pretentiousness drove us to drink to much absenth and go home. One of them lectured me on the value of spending my time on more worthwhile things than watching TV like reading. My sister, whose always got my back pointed out that listening to "Drum and Bass" music with highschool kids might not be the most productive use of time either. It was also nice to point out to them that it was their county that brought us the horrors of American Idol which I don't even want to start ranting about here.
No one in Hungary speaks english so its hard to get around. I was trying to find the aquarium and apparently saying "museam of fish" and drawing a picture of a shar and a fish in a cage is not enough. I did get to go to the zoo where a giraffe ate out of my hand which was fun.
Our waitor made fun of americans to the table next to us last night. I can't even describe how weird it was. Within earshot is a huge understatement.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
The churches and Museams are all lovely. I have also enjoyed having long meals and drinking Cappacino while reading my book.
My sister and I were directed to go out at night to a so called "island of fun." In Hungarian it is called "Hoyogyan cziget." The island of fun turned out the be a club with very young people hanging out under tents and standing around drinking. We met a few guys from London who said they were there for a "Drum and Bass" show. We wanted to wait for it to start but their pretentiousness drove us to drink to much absenth and go home. One of them lectured me on the value of spending my time on more worthwhile things than watching TV like reading. My sister, whose always got my back pointed out that listening to "Drum and Bass" music with highschool kids might not be the most productive use of time either. It was also nice to point out to them that it was their county that brought us the horrors of American Idol which I don't even want to start ranting about here.
No one in Hungary speaks english so its hard to get around. I was trying to find the aquarium and apparently saying "museam of fish" and drawing a picture of a shar and a fish in a cage is not enough. I did get to go to the zoo where a giraffe ate out of my hand which was fun.
Our waitor made fun of americans to the table next to us last night. I can't even describe how weird it was. Within earshot is a huge understatement.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Meat Pie
Sarajevo has given me an unnatural obsession with meat pie. I can't stop eating them. I can't even stop thinking about them. Meat and pie are two great things so combined how could you go wrong? My sister's friend Sheldon once said:
"The love of meat pies... its what brings us together as a global community.
It is the lack of meat pies here in the US that is at the heart of our
unwillingness to join that global brotherhood." He was right.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Mostar
Mostar is a beautiful place. Its beauty is contrasted with the remnants of a war that is recent in the minds of all people here. Many of the buildings remain destroyed and most buildings are covered in bullet holes. You can hear the Muslim call to prayer while watching scantily clad women walk to clubs along with Musilim women covered completely headed toward the Mosque.
The river is the same blue as the Carribean sea. I like it here.
There is also a lot of vandalism supporting Tito and the Red Army. It is unsettling.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Goodbye Schatar
I am in Croatia and having been watching Full House in Croatian and I miss my shows! I am also being forced to drink a lot of homemade plum brandy which is less than pleasant. I was able to find out that Schatar was finally given the boot on Charm School! Three cheers for Mo. Schatar and whatever dead animal is on her head really did not belong in Charm School.
Watching Full House today in Croatian reminded me how annoying the Olsen twins are. I have seen pictures of them all over thesuperficial.com and they certainly turned out hanus. Someone seriously needs to tell them to cool it with the red lipstick.
I am heading to Saravejo soon. Hopefully there will be E! ( cheap Ecstacy would also be acceptable as a replacement)
Ahhhh! And I am so upset the Real World Vegas reunion show is starting while I am gone. I am sure I will have a lot to say about that.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Being Bobby Brown
I am watching old episodes of Being Bobby Brown. They are just as disturbing as they were the first time around. I have to say though, Whitney is scarier than Bobby. Does she smoke crack all day? Its so scary. Why have they not taken their kids away after this show aired? I feel sad for them.
I am also sad that I am watching this terrible show.
I am also sad that I am watching this terrible show.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
My sister and not the Passport Office
My sister and I were stuck at the passport office for 3 hours today. We were given the number 166 and they were calling number 55 when we got that number. Two hours later when they were on 120 we decided to cheer each number that came up. It seemed like we were scaring people but as time went on some joined in. Then we were scolded by a passport office security guard who made us stop and threatened to kick us out if we didn't stop cheering. Apparently happiness upsets the San Francisco Passport Office staff. They are used to upsetting people that want
What made me happy was how disappointed everyone was that we were forced to stop. One woman even came up to us and said she had been crying about her sick mother in the U.K. because it was taking forever for her to get a passport until our cheering began. Our cheering had uplifted her and made her "calm down and smile." Her whole family thanked us and even voiced their anger at the passport office employees. Anna and I plan to return another day to cheer for people getting their passports when mine wont be at risk. Maybe the DMV the following day.
What made me happy was how disappointed everyone was that we were forced to stop. One woman even came up to us and said she had been crying about her sick mother in the U.K. because it was taking forever for her to get a passport until our cheering began. Our cheering had uplifted her and made her "calm down and smile." Her whole family thanked us and even voiced their anger at the passport office employees. Anna and I plan to return another day to cheer for people getting their passports when mine wont be at risk. Maybe the DMV the following day.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Goldie Ok ... I am having a hard time recoverin...
Goldie
Ok ... I am having a hard time recovering from the fact that Courtney, better known as 'Goldie' was expelled from charm school. She was by far the most charming.
LayLeen
I also want to make an early prediction that LayLeen will win the $50,000. I know everyone hates her but she is totally getting less annoying. She is also a character that increases viewers so she will be on for a bit.
I think Larissa is a witch and should be burned appropriately. Yes Larissa you do talk like a baby all the time.
Larissa
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